I was afraid of money

Up until recent years, I have been telling myself that I would never be an entrepreneur or do any kind of business simply because I could not bear the idea of 'taking money' from a client or customer. Yes, I was uneasy with the fact of receiving payment for anything. Weird right? I think so too; and honestly even up till today I cringe a lil when I get a bigger than usual payment for my freelancing hustles.

I’ve been asking myself what’s with this adverse attitude towards money. Like, don’t we all agree that having more money is always welcomed? I guess I have to take awhile more to figure out why exactly I feel so 'paiseh' to get paid, but here I wanna share with you something that broadened my perspective on providing a product or service and getting paid for it.

For starters, let’s go way back to my Economics class back in secondary school (yes, my school offered 'O' Level econs). We learnt that money has three functions: A storer of value, a medium of exchange and a unit of account. As I began to recall this definition of money, I started to appreciate the role money plays in the whole system of my freelancing. At the very base level, I realised that the price I set and/or the payment at the end of each project was merely a reflection of the value I had provided to my client, and I didn’t need to be ashamed about charging for my expertise. Of course there are extreme scenarios where freelancers get lowballed or charge insanely high prices, but I won’t go into that today.

And money can be a measure of impact too. A bigger project with a higher price tag might just mean a more significant problem solved for my client, and a testament to the amount of change in their life or business. However, I would like to give a disclaimer that this does not apply to all circumstances, and there are many other instances where people’s lives are positively impacted without the use of a single cent. The bottomline is, seeing money as a currency of value and impact was a game changer for me. If you’re reading this and already gotten this concept, well, that’s really great because you’re probably already ahead of me, haha. It might seem like a no-brainer to you but personally it has been a 'aha' moment.

I’m glad that this was only that start of my shift in perspective. As I read up more and talked to my friends on finance and money management, I found out there was much more to unpack. For instance, I’m reminded that finance is really just like other resources, given to us to steward well so that we in turn can bless others. And this is how I resolved to view things like investments and financial planning; to steadily hold whatever is in my hands, but hold these things loosely enough so that it won’t be too difficult for me to give it all up for whatever purpose that only God knows.

I hope that I’ll when I’ll have more to give 40 years down the road, my heart’s posture will remain the same, growing only in capacity to give and maturing in the way I handle my finances. Be encouraged friend, to freely give just as you have freely received.